Just to start us off, let's address slurs:
Never use any type of slur unless you are part of that group, and even then, make sure those around you don’t mind you using it.
If someone tells you that they don’t like you using a certain word around them, please don't argue with them. It hurts them, so you simply should not use it.
L for Lesbian
A brief history:
Lesbian Role Models (click on each name for more information):
G for Gay
“Gay” originally meant carefree.
After being coined in the 15th century (or so) the word Gay soon thereafter occasionally took up a sexual connotation: Things such as the Gay-house (a brothel), a gay-woman (a prostitute), or a gay-man (a womanizer).
Through the early 19th century the word “gay” took up its modern meaning: a homosexual, usually referring to a male homosexual (lesbians also refer to themselves as gay although gay men do not refer to themselves as lesbians).
Though it usually is appropriate to use “gay” as an adjective and a noun, some people may take offense if used as a noun.
Semantics:
“Gay” is usually the preferred term for someone who is attracted to the same gender.
“Lesbian” is a female who likes women.
“Homosexual” is less-preferred because of the emphasis on the sexual part, and it’s not all about sex. Attraction is about much more than just physical intimacy.
“Same Gender Attraction” or “SGA” is a description common in our region and was coined by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Many gay members do not like this term. Others are okay with it. (BYU’s GSA-equivalent is called USGA for Understanding Same Gender Attraction).
Clarifications:
Being gay is not a choice.
Most people know their orientation by junior high.
No one can make a straight person gay (and no one can make a gay person straight).
Homosexuality is NOT the same thing as pedophilia nor child molestation. (“The perpetrators of child sexual abuse or assault are overwhelmingly adult heterosexual males.” - American Psychology Association). (Example: BSA debates).
What does a gay person look like? There is no “one look.” Appearances are varied from super-masculine to effeminate, just like with straight people.
Generally Speaking:
Homosexuality was illegal in Britain until 1967.
In the EU, discrimination of any kind is forbidden.
The U.S. repealed “Don’t ask don’t tell”in 2011.
The Netherlands were the first country to legalize same-sex marriage in 2001.
There are currently 18* States plus the District of Columbia that allow same-sex marriage. In addition, a couple of counties in New Mexico also allow same-sex marriage.
*continuing to grow
Gay (male homosexual) Role Models (click on each name for more information):
B for Bisexual
People who are bisexual are usually attracted to men and women, but some bi people are attracted to a different combination of genders such as gender fluid and women.
Bisexual Role Models (click on each name for more information):
- Billie Joe Armstrong
- Angelina Jolie
- Frank Ocean
- Alexander the Great
- Evan Rachel Wood
- Lord Byron
- Janis Joplin
- Lou Reed
Biphobia:
Within the heterosexual and even the LGBTQIAP+ community there is sometimes an aversion toward people who are bisexual. People say to “decide already” or “come all the way out of the closet”. This is not okay.
People who are bisexual genuinely feel attracted to men and women, they’re not just trying to take the easy way out, and it’s unacceptable to invalidate them by saying that they’re just scared to be “truly gay”.
T for Trans*
Transgender, Transsexual, Androgynous, Bigendered, Genderqueer, and Cross-dresser:
Not associated with sexual-orientation, but rather gender-identity.
- Transgender is the usual umbrella term for several categories. As opposed to transsexual, the word transgender should be used as an adjective rather than a noun.
- Transsexual is when the gender identity is different than the assigned sex.
- Androgynous means a combination of feminine and masculine characteristics.
- Bigendered means possessing both feminine and masculine qualities but at separate times. This can also be referred to as gender fluid.
- Genderqueer means an ambiguously defined gender-identity; not fitting neatly into the gender binary or a combination thereof.
- Cross-dresser is preferred over the term transvestite and means one who dresses (and often acts) in clothing typical of the opposing gender. In addition, a cross-dresser has to dress to try to achieve what their internal gender-identity makes them feel as though they are. A cross-dresser is different from a drag queen/king who cross dress for the purposes of entertainment.
In General:
If you are unsure as to which pronoun to use when describing someone (he, she, other), just ask. However, always use someone’s name as the primary way to address them.
Not all people who are transgender look alike. They also don’t all conform to the same appearance norms.
Don’t ever assume anything about someone’s sexual orientation, desire and status of hormonal or medical treatment, etc.
(Click here to view The Genderbread Person as a larger image)
Trans* Role Models and Examples (click on each name for more information):
Q for Queer and Questioning
Queer:
Queer is an umbrella term used to include anyone that identifies outside of society's gender and sexual norms.
It used to be used in a derogatory way, but now many people are trying to reclaim the word, it’s fine if you don’t want to use it though.
Many people simply use queer because they do not want to put a specific label on themselves, but want to identify as part of the queer community.
Some GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) clubs choose to call themselves QSA (Queer-Straight Alliance).
Questioning:
The Q also stands for questioning because many people (often, but not only, adolescents) question their sexuality and/or gender. Lots of people don’t automatically identify as definitively gay, lesbian, trans*, etc.
It takes time to figure all of these things out, be patient with anyone who is still trying to understand themselves.
I for Intersex:
People who are intersex are born with reproductive organs that do not fit into the typical male/female boxes.
This is not the same as trans*.
Some in the intersex community want to reclaim the word hermaphrodite, but many do not, so this word should not be used in describing people who are intersex.
There are surgeries to change the genitals of people who are intersex to fit in the male/female boxes, but not all want to take this route.
A for Asexual and Ally:
Asexual:
Asexuality is lack of sexual attraction or lack of interest in sexual conduct.
About 1% of Americans are Asexual.
Asexuality shouldn't be confused with celibacy, asexuality is lack of a desire, whereas celibacy is the suppression of that desire.
Asexual Role Models (click on the name to get more information):
An Ally, simply put, is someone who fits into the societal sexual-gender norms, but is friendly to the LGBTQIAP+ community.
However, some people in the queer community are offended when the A is used for Asexual and Ally, so make sure you’re sensitive to who you’re talking with.
P for Pansexual:
Pan is greek for ‘all’. Also called ‘omnisexual’ because the prefix ‘omni’ is the latinized equivalent for ‘pan’.
Pansexuals reject gender binarity. Pansexuals essentially see gender as irrelevant for sexual attraction. Pansexual doesn’t refer to any fetish attraction.
It’s important to note that pansexual and bisexual are not the same sexual orientation.
Pansexual Role Models (click on each name for more information):
An Explanation of the +:
* or +
These are often put on the end of the LGBTQIAP acronym. This helps show that new letters can be added, and it can be used if you are not 100% sure that you have used all of the letters in the most updated acronym.
The -romantic Suffix:
Sometimes people can be one sexuality (lesbian, bisexual, etc.) and have different romantic inclinations. The homo, hetero, bi, pan, and a few other prefixes can be put before the -romantic suffix. They are not sexually attracted to the group that is used in the prefix, but they are romantically attracted to them. If you have any questions about it, look it up! There’s a lot of information about it on the internet.
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